1/ What do you say when the police stops you?
Answer (a) To koner moi kisan la?
(b) Taler mo transfer toi Lil Plate!
The correct answer of course is (a) and/or (b).
But if (a) and (b) don’t work, just whip out your taxpayer bought latest phone model, tap a few numbers at random, and start saying » Allo Jangi? Mai quel ggtri sa bunum? » Before you finish your pretend phone conversation, the gablou will tell you, « Korek sa missier. Mo faute sa. Kom pinition, mo vine fer ou zardin samedi »…
2/ When ICAC/police arrest you, how should you answer?
Answer (a) Je suis serein
(b) Zis Bon Dier koner ki mo inosan.
Both answers are correct, but you get more points if you answer (b). Why? Parski ou koir Bon Dier pou vine la cour pou dire, « Oui ene bon dimoune sa? » If God is the only witness, then it is highly likely that a stupid magistrate/judge will give you the benefit of the doubt and declare you « Not guilty »….
3/ If the public finds out that you are earning Rs 200, 300, 400, 500,000 or in Darling Sherry’s case, Rs 1 million a month allegedly, or in the babouji move fatra fanatik at the FSC and his Rs 6 millions yearly salary,
Answer: (a) Mo travay dire pou mo pays!
(b) I am fully qualified (mention a few degrees that no one will check…)
(c) Apart lisse fesse politicien, mo pa konne ene ferfoute.
Of course, answer (c) is the truth, but as a patriot, you have been trained to lie from morning until midnight, so give answer either (a) or (b). Lepep kouyon will believe you.
4/ Kan dimoune dimane ban « patriotes » kifer nou kontan deklar relizier et en meme tan kokin lepep so larzan
Answer: (a) Quote the Bible and say » God helps those who help themselves ». I am helping myself to your money and you are too stupid to stop me!
(b) Boukou zoli madames al dan service relizier..Mo met mo savate leponz Dodo kan mo aller..
(c) Morisiens bien kouyon et bien fanatik. Alor kan mo al dan fete ninporte ki relizion, ban zoaves la koir ki mo zot bann….
Answers (a)(b)(c) are all correct, because they reflect the truth.
Congratulations! You are a real « patriot »! Please contact Lady Macbeth for further info about how to peel potatoes in la cuisine, as that is the ultimate test of how good a patriot you are…